I’ve been a bridesmaid once and a maid of honour once, and I’ve attended several weddings in various capacities, so I naturally feel my vast experience allows me to pass on some advice to those who come after…
- Don’t try to out bride-zilla the bride.
It is not your day.
It is her day.
If she wants to stay up till all hours of the night making takeaways or photo-booth props, do not engage.
Calmly tell her you will do it, and then get her to go sleep.
She’ll need it.
- You are allowed to shout at the bride if she hasn’t eaten or kept herself hydrated.
Because you are not going to carry her if she faints.
Or a bag.
Make sure you convince the bride to let you carry or wear something you can stuff band aid, bob pins, tissue to swab the makeup and sweat from your faces, makeup for touch-ups post-swabbing, biscuits, scissors, needle and thread, your phone (and hers) in.
Groomsmen’s pockets can’t hold as much as you need. Trust me on that.
- If you can’t help out as much as you would like to –or she needs you to – be upfront about it.
Tempers tend to run high around weddings, so if you flake on your promises, it will be remembered.
Hell hath no fury like a bride-to-be let down.
- Be at the wedding for her.
I don’t mean don’t have any fun, or stick to her like a leech.
Be present and ready to do whatever is needed- there are a million things to do that you won’t even remember the next day, but that will all contribute to making her day (and by extension, the groom’s)
Fluff the dress. Dance near enough for the photos to look amazing, but not so near that the groom isn’t visible. Carry the veil. Frown at the people who want to wish them while they’re enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Orchestrate shots of the dress and shoes and bouquet and all the other little pieces of the wedding symphony. Protect them from whiny relatives – they’ll have to deal with that soon enough, and for the rest of their lives together.
- Wear comfortable shoes.
Much love and heartiest congratulations to A + R, who recently – only last week – tied the knot there’s no untying.