The 18th March Project – Post 3

I’ve been a bridesmaid once and a maid of honour once, and I’ve attended several weddings in various capacities, so I naturally feel my vast experience allows me to pass on some advice to those who come after…

  1. Don’t try to out bride-zilla the bride.

It is not your day.

It is her day.

If she wants to stay up till all hours of the night making takeaways or photo-booth props, do not engage.

Calmly tell her you will do it, and then get her to go sleep.

She’ll need it.

  1. You are allowed to shout at the bride if she hasn’t eaten or kept herself hydrated.

Because you are not going to carry her if she faints.

3. Pockets.

Or a bag.

Make sure you convince the bride to let you carry or wear something you can stuff band aid, bob pins, tissue to swab the makeup and sweat from your faces, makeup for touch-ups post-swabbing, biscuits, scissors, needle and thread, your phone (and hers) in.

Groomsmen’s pockets can’t hold as much as you need. Trust me on that.

  1. If you can’t help out as much as you would like to –or she needs you to – be upfront about it.

Tempers tend to run high around weddings, so if you flake on your promises, it will be remembered.

Hell hath no fury like a bride-to-be let down.

  1. Be at the wedding for her.

I don’t mean don’t have any fun, or stick to her like a leech.

Be present and ready to do whatever is needed- there are a million things to do that you won’t even remember the next day, but that will all contribute to making her day (and by extension, the groom’s)

Fluff the dress. Dance near enough for the photos to look amazing, but not so near that the groom isn’t visible. Carry the veil. Frown at the people who want to wish them while they’re enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Orchestrate shots of the dress and shoes and bouquet and all the other little pieces of the wedding symphony. Protect them from whiny relatives – they’ll have to deal with that soon enough, and for the rest of their lives together.

  1. Wear comfortable shoes.

Much love and heartiest congratulations to A + R, who recently – only last week – tied the knot there’s no untying.

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The 18th March Project – Post 2

I’ve been in the workforce for close to a decade now.

Because this seems to be a year of retrospection, let’s see what I’ve learned:

  • Not everyone follows an upward trajectory; some people grow horizontally (career-wise, and physically)
  • The more multicultural an office is, the greater the chance you will work with someone who believes in the stereotypes about your country. Say we sound like Apu again. Go on. SAY IT.

(My advice? Forgive, but do not forget, their ignorance. Maybe it’s hard for their minds to take in the fact that people are individuals, and not

  1. an archetype of their nationality or
  2. a mishmash of every <insert nationality> character they’ve seen in different media)
  • A manager who can truly see past East and West is a rockstar. Heck, one who can see you as an individual with specific, personal goals and dreams and can get you to use your skills and knowledge where they are best suited is a treasure.
  • The worst workplace has its pros; the best workplace has its cons. Choose what you are willing to put up with.
  • It’s not all about the money, but money plays a big role. Sometimes it’s about flexibility, or learning opportunities. It is *mostly* about the money. Don’t work for someone who isn’t willing to pay you fairly. You will definitely grow to resent it.
  • Karma gets everyone. Even in business. So don’t be an ass.
  • Not everyone believes you all belong to the same team.
  • Having friends at work is important. These are the people who understand your frustrations when a deliverable is late, or show you another side when you’re venting about a co-worker.
  • Another thing that’s important is knowing your rights. Read your contract thoroughly. Ask questions. If you have to make compromises, negotiate first. Only you know what’s best for you. And if you don’t ask, you usually don’t get.

Day 72 100words100days Write a cutesy recipe (like the ones out there for Love, etc.)

A recipe for a healthy, solid, lasts-a-lifetime kind of friendship

Ingredients:

2 individuals

A heap of common interests (or, if this is not available, a common friend with whom both have strong ties, or a common enemy whom both detest with the same vehemence)

A liberal dose of tolerance, tempered with a healthy helping of truthfulness

A couple of cubes of empathy

Five drops of tact extract

A cup of refined Love, from which all to nearly all physical desire has been removed

Instructions:

Set the two individuals on a tray. Remove a piece of each one’s soul and place it in the other’s body.

Apportion the remaining ingredients equally between the two. Be very careful about this, because if there is an imbalance, the friendship will not be a healthy one.

Place the tray in an oven, and allow the individuals to bake together till the aroma of the friendship fills the air.

Make sure not to keep opening the oven door as this will result in a half-baked friendship, and the soul pieces will wither and die.

Also ensure that the friends are taken out of the oven at the same time, and are kept together in a warm place, or the friendship will cool.

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Day 73: write an ode to a commonplace object

Day 66 100words100days Write an educational piece for a tween/teenager

193 words that no teen/tween is going to take seriously, even though the advice is sound.

Remember how when people older than you said you should enjoy being a kid and you scoffed? And how now you sometimes wish you could be a kid again? Advice that you spurned = lesson you learned, eh?

I took educational to mean “intended or serving to educate or enlighten.”

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Don’t let your light be dimmed by someone else’s clouds.

No, seriously.

You don’t need to make yourself feel small so that others may feel big, or even adequate.

That’s not to say that you should try to make others feel small. Find the balance between valuing yourself and valuing others.

Why do you need to do this? Isn’t modesty a good policy?, you ask. Yes, it is. So is self-confidence.

Remember that what you tell yourself often enough eventually becomes true. Saying you aren’t smart enough to ace a test, or athletic enough to play on a team, or passionate enough to be a vehicle for change – saying these things too often will make them true. Maybe not today or this year, but in the future – perhaps a decade from now – you will find that you created a self-fulfilling prophecy.

No matter how hard it is, believe in yourself. Take other people’s comments and criticisms under advisement, because there might be some grains of truth you can work on in what they have to say.

Just- don’t let them rain on your parade. And make sure you don’t rain on it either.

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Day 67: Guidelines to run a successful training programme